Breaking up with My Degree

I've never been one for commitment. I like to leave my options open and know that there is always something else I can do without having to worry about the consequences. Even something like a phone contract, where I'm tied down for 2 years to a product that I might not want after a few months. It upsets me. It's not that I'm not a loyal person. In my personal life I'm as loyal as you can get. I've been employed since turning a teenager, and in those 8 years I've only changed jobs once, and that was because of starting university. There's definitely a difference between commitment and loyalty, and commitment is what I struggle with.

I don't know if this trait is necessarily bad - it's sometimes nice to know that I can drop whatever I'm doing if something better comes along. However, it is a problem that was particularly prominent when I was choosing my degree. I thought hard about what I wanted to do - long gone were the days where I could choose an array of subjects to cater to all of the things that I enjoyed. I had to settle for one thing. I didn't mind the studying aspect, and was more than excited for having the 'student experience', it was more a case of being scared about deciding my whole life path without having really started life yet. I didn't know what I wanted, so I left my options open and decided upon English. I love writing, reading and the media, and was particularly sold on the fact that English left my options very broad in terms of where I could go after finishing the course.

Well, English, I think it's time we broke up.

It's a strange feeling when you don't enjoy your degree. One half of me doesn't want the course to finish. I love being independent, living amongst so many great friends and obviously the general student life of 8 hour Netflix binging. But then there's the other half that can't wait to finish this final year so that I can start something new. I work hard to get what I want out of life, but it is difficult to put my all into assignments when I'm not passionate about what I am getting out of them.

I started my degree with the idea that I would become a journalist, something I have slowly fallen out of love with. It's a hard industry to get in to, and I don't think I want it enough to actually go through that fight.

Through my experience at my work placement, my job and just the general things that make me tick, I've decided what I want to do with my life. I know what I need to do to get there and the first part of that journey is finishing this degree with the best possible grade that I can.

So I am going to work hard. I'm going to  push away all of my doubts and reservations about carrying on with my course. I'm going to do the best I can. Where my degree has taught me what I don't want to do with life, it's also taught me the importance of making the most of things. Nothing is a waste of time if you make the most of the experience. If I could turn back time to choose another subject, would I? Probably. But had I not made that mistake, would I be in the position I'm in now - confident and excited about what the future holds? Probably not.

So I'm starting this blog back up so that rather than feeling down because I have to write about things I don't particularly enjoy, I can carry on writing about what I do enjoy. My love for writing will never change, even though it isn't what I want to do any more, but I hope that I can carry on with that passion rather than abandoning it when I finish my degree. I want to write about the things I enjoy - Music, TV, Films, Books, Media, Fitness, Food and Life. You will find all of that on here.

And don't worry, not everything I post will be this depressing.

Lewis T